To Be An Eight Year Old. An Eight Year Old With A Beer.

Back in March I wrote a little bit about my love/hate relationship with the Texas Rangers. How they're so ingrained in me that I just can't stay away, no matter how maddening they are and how much I dislike their owner. Likewise in that piece, I wrote a little bit about a day when I was a kid....couldn't have been more than seven or eight years old....when my mother took me to a local Dallas rec center to meet a few of my heroes, the then Texas Rangers. I got to meet Chad Kreuter, Scott Fletcher, and Jeff Kunkel (whom all probably work at a Home Depot now...), got them to sign a baseball....seriously-at that point in my life, it was probably the coolest thing....ever. Now fast forward to today....

A few months back when Bob Sturm moved his blog to D Magazine's Inside Corner I became a bit of an avid reader. It's got great content, good writers, and a decent reader base that gives me an oppurtunity to interact with other Rangers fans (all 6 of us.....) during the games. Even better, about a month ago they announced that they'd do a "Home Run Happy Hour." The idea was that a few players would come out, mingle with interested fans, do some Q&A, have drinks....it would be a low key affair at the Pappadeux on Oak Lawn. An awesome idea that got even awesomer when it was announced Michael Young, Ian Kinsler, Marlon Byrdand Chris Davis would be there.....and even more awesomer than that when Derek Holland, Scott Feldman, and Taylor Teagarden agreed to show up (so too did Darren O'Day, but he did not...). The event was scheduled for today at 5:30 at the aforementioned Pappadeux location, and I was stoked-while it made it's rounds on the blogosphere I knew that wouldn't have the mass appeal to make it a circus. Then Evan went on The Ticket talking about it this afternoon, and I thought it was going to be a madhouse....after all, The Ticket is the no. 1 station in D/FW for men 25-54 aka the demographic that would show up at this sort of thing. That said, figured I'd roll the dice and drive by there (its just a few blocks from a couple of my accounts....) at 4:45 and see how crowded it was.

It wasn't. At all. I walk in, grab a beer ($4 24oz beers for Happy Hour....for Dallas, that's a bargain), and walk up to about a dozen people in Rangers garb asking where the line was.....and I was in it. About ten people back. Over the next 45m maybe another 30 people show up, and by the time it was all over there couldn't have been more than 150 people. I was given a free baseball to get signed (I hadn't planned to get autographs, just wanted to shoot the shit, but hey, why not?), a coupon for a free beer (so wait, I get to meet the Rangers and get a free beer?), and stood there talking with other fans. The players finally show up, and they were awesome....each one shakes my hand, signs the ball, and we shoot the shit for a bit. After about an hour of signing at a table that ends and they get up, and start mingling with the crowd which was followed by a Q&A session with about 30 of us looking on. As you can see here, I'm about a foot from Mike Young, as well as Marlon Byrd. In case you were curious, Young says he got that hat in Baltimore but couldn't remember the name of the store. I even had a funny conversation with Derek Holland while he was at the urinal next to me (it may be a breach of male etiquette, but im ok with that), as he told me things he would like to do to a couple Hooter's girls.

They were all just really cool dudes. Michael Young was having a Shiner Bock, Marlon Byrd a Crown Royal & soda...and all of them willing to fight through autograph requests and conversation. I even talked to Eric Nadel for a while (his son apparently also went to Jesuit)-a man legendary in my mind and linked forever to Rangers baseball as their radio voice. I always wonder if players are as cool in interviews/on the field as they are in person, and in this case I'm happy to say that they are...these were good dudes. Kinsler even managed his anger quite nicely when some jackass spilled a glass of water in his lap. The entire time I was there I just had this shit-eating grin on my face....and while I know they're just dudes, most of them younger than me....they're still the Rangers. And for a couple hours I was 8 years old again, like I was meeting Jeff Kunkel.....except with a beer.

A Great Analogy

It seems that the discussion is continuing regarding the Stewart vs. Cramer feud from last week, a feud that began with Jon Stewart calling out Rick Santelli's rant (which not surprisingly, was championed by the far right) in which he called out home-owners for taking bad mortgages and neglects to blame the banks and brokers that provided the bad loans. As I'm sure you know by now, Cramer fights back and a feud broke out between the two men which culminated with Cramer coming on Stewart's "The Daily Show" last thursday, which if you haven't seen is available here unedited, which is important since the actual broadcast of the appearance was pretty heavily edited.

Now let me preface this by saying that I enjoy the work of both men. I find Jim Cramer to be quite entertaining on Mad Money, and I find that you don't need a degree from the London School of Economics to follow his logic, its an investment show for the every-man and I enjoy it. Likewise, I think Jon Stewart is simply brilliant and his comedic analysis of the day's news is strangely better than anything CNN, FNC, or even CNBC are pumping out in my humble opinion. I like the work of both men, and don't have a dog in this fight.

But it was quite obvious from the get-go that Stewart was going to win this battle, as Cramer looked oddly sheepish at times, and the pundits almost universally agree that the "victor" was Jon Stewart. And while this is all well and good, I think it overshadows the message of what Stewart was actually trying to get at, mainly that CNBC should feel some responsibility to actually investigate what has been going on and instead of cheerleading the boom market, maybe look for the signs that things are about to go south and warn people.

I think it's an interesting discussion. CNBC is a privately owned cable television network, so what is their obligation to the public? It can't be any more or less than that of Comedy Central, which brings us public services such as "A Roast To Larry The Cable Guy" and monthly airings of PCU. And while I believe that The Daily Show is in fact a public service, Comedy Central doesn't air it for that reason-they air it because it makes them money. Likewise for CNBC and 'Mad Money.' Now is it dishonest the way they position and advertise Mad Money? I think it is, but this reminds me of the Jon Stewart vs. Tucker Carlson blow up from 2004 in which Stewart criticizes the program 'Crossfire' for encouraging partisan hackery (true) and the media at large for throwing softball questions at politicians (also true) but when confronted with his doing the same hides behind the fact that he does a comedy show, which is true, but you can't question what CNN/FNC do when you do the same thing....its likewise disingenuous. While it may be a comedy show, Stewart and The Daily Show have emerged as an important part of the public sphere, as assinine as that sounds.

Which leads us to the analogy I led off with. I earlier heard Bob Sturm make the analogy that this is akin to the baseball writers neglecting to report that the players were doing steroids, despite how obvious it was to them, and then when it finally does come out turning around and blaming everyone but themselves. I think the analogy is dead on.

A writer is either employed by the club (especially here in the .com era) or relies heavily on the club or MLB at large to provide them access to the players, to the locker room, and to the ballpark. If a writer gets blackballed and can't get a player interview or worse-can't go to the games-then that writer will quickly find himself unemployed. Thus despite how obvious it was the writers, especially being in the clubhouse, that steroids were running rampant in baseball for the latter half of the '80s, the entirety of the '90s, and the first part of the '00s the writers remained mum until it became such a story that they didn't have to fear for their jobs (remember how Jose Canseco was ostracized for telling the truth?). Likewise with "the media" you've got writers/anchors/talking heads employed by huge conglomerates with their financial fingers in all sorts of pies, and those companies would most likely frown on someone reporting that this entire bull market was little but a house of cards. So until the shit hit the proverbial fan and the reporters had no choice but to report on it, everyone remained mum and cheerled the unprecedented economic boom which would surely never bust. And it is for this reason, that I find myself siding with Stewart.

I don't believe that CNBC has an "obligation" be the watchdog the Federal regulators failed so badly at being, but I do think people should walk away from this economic disaster and know that CNBC-and the media at large-played a very large role in turning a blind eye to the underbelly of the economic house of cards, and remember that. I love Jim Cramer, but if you're putting all your financial eggs in the basket of a guy that throws plastic toys at the screen, hits sound effects, and considers himself the president of "Cramerica" then perhaps you deserve what you're getting. Mad Money is a great starting point, no doubt, but its just that and should be followed with due diligence.

I refuse to believe that with the sheer number of "economic experts" in this country, from the cast of CNBC down to your broker, that no one saw this coming. People did and were refused a platform to get the message out (it wouldve most likely fallen on deaf ears anyway, to be fair), and those whom could have actually been heard (and taken seriously) just got too caught up in the boom market to address reality. It was inevitable, in retrospect, but that doesn't mean that we can't learn lessons from it-and actually try to remember them when the next bull market occurs.

Super Bowl interrupted by....porn?

In some weird cosmic twist, it seems that once again the broadcast of the Super Bowl has become ground zero for broadcasters and what they're responsible for. We all of course remember the Janet Jackson "wardrobe malfunction" from back in 2004, and this time its porn being broadcast during the game.

As the story goes, Comcast subscribers in the Tucson, AZ area were watching Larry Fitzgerald part the seas on an amazing catch and run when the signal becomes interrupted and then replaced with a porn star shaking his thang for 30 seconds before the the station returns to the game. You can view the video here (without a it being blurred out) or here if you prefer not looking at a giant penis-either way it's most certainly NSFW.

Comcast is claiming that it was a "malicious attack" on their signal, you can read their release here, to which I wonder if I were going to commit what I'm sure is a federal crime, I'd most certainly have chosen a better porn clip. That said, how how uncomfortable that must be-can you imagine sitting next to your grandmother or child and that popping on during the Super Bowl? It's awesomely hilarious.

Ocean's 12

There's this part of Ocean's 12 (prequel to Ocean's 13, sequel to Ocean's 11) where the crew is planning a heist of this extroardinarialy rich man. He's got this extraordinary collection of rare historical and art pieces, but he's an OCD shut-in with absurd security measures to protect his stuff and no designs on ever leaving the house. I often think to that, and then think that if I were a professional athlete (which I'm most assuredly not) I might consider that approach.

I mean, consider Pac-Man and his various scrapes with the law. I'm not excusing the guy, but if I were a millionaire celebrity I highly doubt my experience at strip clubs would be like it has been. But that's not the point. The real reason I bring that up is this;

Jackonsville Jaguars offensive tackle Richard Collier , shot while sitting
in a car outside an apartment complex earlier this month, is paralyzed below the
waist and his left leg was amputated, his doctor said Monday. Collier was on a
ventilator for about three weeks and has no memory of the shooting, said Dr.
Andy Kerwin, a surgeon for the University of Florida at Shands Jacksonville
hospital.

"His overall condition has improved greatly," Kerwin said. "We expect him to be discharged soon."Kerwin said Collier suffered 14 bullet
wounds to the back, left groin, left legs and right buttock. In addition, a
bullet severed his spinal cord, causing the paralysis. The amputation was the
result of damage to his left leg and groin, where blood clots formed. Five
bullets alone were removed from his urinary bladder and the 26-year-old player
also had bouts of pneumonia, infections and renal failure.

I am sure there are other circumstances at play. I am sure there's a lot more to this story. But can you imagine being a 25 year old man playing in the NFL-in line for your millions-a physical specimen and a rare talent, and have it all taken away?

Furthermore, can you imagine that same incident taking not just the use of your legs, but also a leg proper? It's just a sad story.

That's Crazy Man, You Can't Control What The Blog Do

A week or so ago, the following video surfaced on teh intertubes;



It's of Dallas Maverick's forward Josh Howard "disrespecting" the singing of the National Anthem by saying he's black and he "doesn't do that shit" before claiming the merits of Obama.

And while of course the video riled up so many peoples sensibilities, personally I couldn't give two shits what Josh Howard thinks about the the National Anthem or politics, just as I don't care that he smokes pot in the off-season. My concern with Josh Howard starts and stops with his performance on the basketball court. But of course, I'm in the minority, and a great many people are "outraged" at his disrespect for America (is there a point where blatant nationalism is going to run it's course?), of which many seem to be active military, military veterans, and racists. Also not surprising-everyone's got an agenda. I'm betting a bunch of San Antonio Spurs fans are all over it too.

What is interesting though, is how many of them wrote e-mails to Mark Cuban, the owner of the Dallas Mavericks. And what's even more fascinating, is that Cuban decided to publish many of them-names and e-mail address included-on his blog, Blog Maverick. The following are just a few excerpts, you can read all of them at the above link to Cuban's blog.

Author : Barack Obama (IP: 64.12.117.196 ,
cache-mtc-ah04.proxy.aol.com)
E-mail : Nigga4life@coon.com
URL : http://Watermellon
Whois
: http://ws.arin.net/cgi-bin/whois.pl?queryinput=64.12.117.196
Comment:JOSH
HOWARD IS NOTHING BUT A DUMB COON NIGGER. SOMEONE NEEDS TO
TEACH HIS MONKEY
ASS SOME DAM RESPECT FOR THE NATIONAL ANTHEM

Classy stuff, eh? And while that guy was smart enough (despite being an obvious idiot) to use a fake name and e-mail address, a lot of people were not so smart. We start with the very compelling and well thought-out "if you hate America then leave" argument from this guy;

From: “Billy Leto”
To:
mark.cuban@dallasmavs.com
Date: 09/18/2008 09:20 AM
Subject: are you
kidding me?
MC,
Tell Howard that him and Hussein Obama can go to another
country and live if they don’t want to support our symbol of freedom.–

I don't think there's any question which way that guy is going to be voting in November. And man, with that sort of impeccable argument I just don't see how Josh Howard can do anything but move to China. Speaking of which;

From: George Bannon
To:
markcuban@dallasmavs.com
Date: 09/18/2008 08:25 PM
Subject: MARK &
TEAM NEED TO MOVE TEAM AND YOU TO MOSCOW RUSSIA OR CUBA OR CHINA ETC.ETC.

1ST STRIKE - YOU HAD THE ANTI-AMERICAN CANADIAN PIG VOMIT ON YOUR
TEAM

2ND STRIKE - YOU FUNDED ANTI-AMERICAN/TROOPS MOVIE

3RD STRIKE - “I DONT DO THIS SHIT’ DURING MY NATIONAL ANTHEM
- THIS NATION MADE YOU PIG VOMITS RICH BEYOND MY DREAMS AND THIS IS HOW
YOU REPAY US. THREE STRIKES YOUR OUT! TELL PIG VOMIT HE IS FREE TO MOVE OUT OF
MY COUNTRY ANYTIME HE WANTS. TRY CHINA,THEY HAVE FREE SPEACH -
NOT!

Apparently he's so angry he couldn't be bothered to turn off the capslock. You know, or make any sort of rational argument or point....or anything that's remotely even readable.

And while the bulk of them were just eye-rolling diatribes about how he disrespected American and they won't watch basketball anymore or go to Mavs games or blah, blah, blah, sadly a great many of them were of course, racial in nature.

From: “stephen rogers”
To:
Date: 09/17/2008 09:34 PM
Subject: Ask
Mark Cuban
Mr. Cuban,

Just saw your nigger Josh Howard disresepct the national anthem
because he is black. According to the news you say he is a really great guy. Of
course he is because he makes you lots of money you greedy bastard.

You would rather sell out your own country that my dead father fought
for in WW II than than lose a buck by firing this black bastard.

You are nothing more than a nigger slave owner milking him for all his
black ass can get you.
YOU, SIR IS WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY. YOU AND
THAT NIGGER YOU CALL NICE.

There’s lots of black dick on that team, get busy. White power is
coming back because of race traitors like you.

Know what you get when you cross a nigger and a white nigger lover ?
a WHIGGER. THAT IS YOU !!!!

Mark WHIGGER Cuban.

A White storm is brewing Mr. Cuban, you and those niggers like you better
evacuate.


heffernan2@aol.com to
mark.cuban
show details 9:29 AM (14 hours ago)

“I don’t even celebrate that shit. I’m black.”

You & Howard…two peas in a pod.Don’t think we’ve forgotten about
that Brian De Palma anti-military propaganda film, “Redacted”, that you
produced, CubanYa might tell Howard the next time you talk to him, that if
not for America, he’d probably be throwing spears in Africa
someplace instead of free-throws.

Semper Fi,
M.E. Heffernan

That's just a nice sample of the great display of American idiocy being put on display for all the world to see at Blog Maverick. If you've got a few minutes read through it, seriously-it will blow your mind. I mean we all knew that these people existed, but to see them put on display without internet anonymity is a great thing.