Well Hello

My my, has it been a busy couple of weeks. What with the end of month of one of our most stressful months of the year at work (both Diageo and Foster's Wine Estates' fiscal year ends) bookended by two ridiculously debaucherous and alcohol filled weekends, let's just say there just hasn't been a ton of time for writing. Oh, and did I mention getting all the work done for my vacation (a week and a half in Seattle and Portland)? I've been busy to the point that I even cancelled my WAR subscription due to lack of playing time, and havent logged a minute of TF2 in two weeks. So in that vein, some Matt-related quickhits;

-I will admit to getting atleast a little general nerdiness in, as Luq alerted me to the fact that Steam (a service I've totally come around on and really, really love now)was offering EQ2 for the low, low price of $9.99 (all expansions and 30 days free included), an offer I simply couldn't pass up to atleast give the game a chance. Now it was beyond disappointing, something I fully expected, but now I can atleast add it to the extensive list of MMO's I've played and quickly tired of before and since Dark Age of Camelot, bar none the best MMO I've ever played.

-On account of the aforementioned debaucherous weekends, atleast the most recent one, I've had a nice hungover sunday which afforded me and my general uselessness the ability to lay in bed all day with the curtains drawn and watch television, in much the same way I was introduced to True Blood a few weeks back. This sunday though was dedicated to finishing season one of Dexter....all 8 episodes I had left. It was good stuff. While certainly not The Wire, and maybe not even as good as Oz, it made moderately entertaining TV and I'm going to atleast watch season two. The characters can be a little unbelievable at times, but it seems they've begun to develop them quite a bit as the season wore on. Likewise, as any good television show (read: unlike Fourth And Long, which is god awful) does, the plot thickens as the series goes on and sucks you in a bit. I'm not gonna give it the must-see status The Wire gets, but it's good enough.

-I'm now two days from vacation. Ahhhh, sweet sweet vacation. 10 days in the beautiful and not hot Pacific Northwest. And as if things could have worked out any better, after booking the dates it turned out the Rangers are going to be in Seattle this weekend (already have tickets to see them at Safeco) and Mudhoney is playing a free show in Seattle. Throw in a crab dinner, a couple rounds of golf and some time with the extended family and that makes for a pretty nice trip before I head down to Portland to spend a week enjoying the great outdoors and craft beers. Have I mentioned I'm a little stoked?

Tha said, unless you want to hear about the Rangers or how much Beringer/Sterling/BV I had to sell last month (a lot) then I really don't really have a whole hell of a lot more for you. So until I'm back from vacation, I bid you adieu.

How Not To End A Relationship.

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Why I Keep Coming Back.

I'm not sure what my first memory is. When it comes to chronologically ordering events in my life, especially those of my early life, I'm fairly bad at it. Ask me how a local sports team did in 1996-or even 1986-and odds are I can tell you, but ask me what year I first kissed a girl....and well, I remember who and where, but I'd have to do some heavy mental math to figure out what year it was. It's just the way my brain is wired, for better or worse. That said, there may very well be earlier memories for me....but among my first memories was my mother taking me to a local rec center to meet a few members of the Texas Rangers. Somewhere at my Dad's house theres still both a framed picture of the 1988 Texas Rangers as well as a Tony the Tiger baseball (redeemed, no doubt, from many a bowl of Frosted Flakes), each with three signatures on it....those of Chad Kreuter, Scott Fletcher, and Jeff Kunkel.



Now obviously somewhere previous to that I was wired to love Rangers baseball (why else would I have wanted to go meet them? or have been so excited by it?), but I remember that picture and that signed baseball....and how they were my most precious possessions for many years of my life. I didn't care that Chad Kreuter, Scott Fletcher, and Jeff Kunkel were spares...they were baseball players, and Rangers at that, and thus worth of idol status to me. And buried next to that 1988 Texas Rangers team photograph, I'm sure sits a 1989 one....a picture I remember spending hours looking at as a child. For in my mind, that 1989 team was a magical one...it was the team that would shape so much of my youth, and who's players I can still recite like gospel.



John Barfield (his name had barf in it!), Kevin Brown, Charlie Hough, Jamie Moyer (still playing), Kenny Rogers (still playing), Bobby Witt, Nolan Ryan (like everyone else, my childhood hero), Jim Sundberg, Geno Petralli, Steve Buechele (boooooooooooo.....), Julio Franco, Rafael Palmeiro, Dean Palmer, Juan Gonzalez, Cecil Espy, Ruben Sierra, Pete Incaviglia, Sammy Sosa (who wouldnt actually be relevant for another decade), Harold Baines, Buddy Bell. Those are the names of my youth, and to this day those names take me back in time to my childhood.

And it is with those names and that childish glee, that I find myself with less than a week until baseball season starts getting giddy at the fact that its almost here. Nevermind that the Rangers have been good, well, never or that we all know that this will be just another in the lifelong series of disappointing seasons. They will be bad, and by May 1 I'm sure I will be frustrated, and yet every night there I'll be....tuned in to another lousy game in a lousy season of lousy Rangers baseball, it's the ultimate lifelong 5 car pileup on the freeway you just can't seem to take your eyes off of.

The spirits of those players and the childhood memories, every year about this time, they come flooding back. And I find myself sucked back in.

A Trip To Beaumont, TX.

It all started as a bit of a joke. A friend and I are sitting at beautiful Lucky Lou's in Denton, TX. six or nine months ago, as we had so many other nights. He had recently gotten his MBA from North Texas (hey, an MBA is an MBA, right?) and couldn't find a job outside of meager debt collection, which he'd been doing through graduate school. The job market just wasn't there, and he was rightfully frustrated by it. So we're sitting there, and the conversation goes a little something like this;

Friend: So I got a job offer finally, i mean it kind of sucks, but the
money's good...

Me: Oh? What is it?

F: It's for Conn's. Executive in training. Good money, thing
is...um...well, I'd have to move to Beaumont.....

Me: Where the fuck is Beaumont?

F: Outside Houston. It sucks, but I'd only have to do it for a year and
then I could move somewhere else.

M: That sucks man, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do. Just get a strippers n' blow fund started.

F: Huh?

M: Dude, you're going to be a well paid executive in Beaumont freaking Texas. What else are you going to spend your money on?

F: Point taken.

M: Tell you what, you get that started, and I'll drive down there and
visit, help you spend it.

And thus was the birth of the Strippers n' Blow jar [note: blow is just a euphemism for excess, there was no actual cocaine consumed]. Friend moved down to Beaumont in early December and has been there ever since saving money and only getting one weekend a month off. A few weeks ago he calls me, says he has a weekend off in March and the jar is getting full, and I should come down there. Meanwhile I'd just gotten a new car (who doesn't want to break in a new car with a road trip), so I decide what the hell-sure man, see you in a few weeks.

So friday afternoon I head down there. I'm expecting a 6-7 hour drive (truth is it was just 5 and some change), and honestly it was a fairly scenic drive. Bluebonnets everywhere, not a lot of traffic until Houston, it's really not a bad drive at all. Before I continue, let me make one small confession. I don't think I've been south of the Trinity River (i guess Arlington technically is, but you get the idea) since a river trip to Austin with my then girlfriend some 4-5 years ago. In fact, if you take Austin/San Antonio out of the equation, I'm not sure I've been south of the Trinity River since I was a child. My only memories were of obscene humidity and oppressive heat, and that combined with no actual reason to go south of the Trinity other than Austin (Shreveport is East, everything else worth going to is North), has kept me where I've been.

Truth is, Central and even Southeast Texas wasn't that bad. I mean sure, Houston is still an homage to strange smells, humidity, and urban sprawl of the highest order, but the changes in the geography from prairie to pseudo-hill country to forests to the coast is a pretty cool thing to see. Each town individually may be fairly forgettable, but as a composite there's something unique about rural Texas-sure the giant statue of Sam Houston is excessive, as is the World Capitol of Jerky, but part of me wishes I'd had a little more time and stopped in these small towns to absorb that rural Texas I've never really known. Sure they're a little over-religious for my tastes (there must've been dozens of pro-life billboards I saw during the trip) and ya, they might embrace the white trash ethos more than one would think healthy, but at the same time from the pseudo-cosmopolitan confines of Dallas it's almost like going to another country, it's a culture entirely foreign to me. I used to make occasional jaunt to Stephenville (damnit, I guess that's south of the Trinity too) with an ex-girlfriend to visit her family, and while that was an experience, many of the towns between Dallas and Houston make Stephenville look like a hotbed of culture.

Anyway, friday night I finally get down there...have a fairly skunky Dos Equis, and we head to this place called Madisons [side note, the name Madison seems to be a theme in SETEX, and I'm curious why that is] which had some awesome crab nachos (much better than they sound) and a Golden Tee machine before we headed over to the Vortex, the local Rockabilly/Punk Club. Cheap drinks, fairly cool scene (still can't figure out why they had a ping pong table though....), but a music venue you couldn't smoke in....something so absurdly foreign to me. It took me 45m to figure out why the place smelled like ass, until I lit a cigarette and was told I had to go outside...then it all made sense. And so from there to a pool hall, the lone bar in the city in which you could smoke. Capped the night off with whisky and 'Army of Darkness'. Good times.

Friend's couch sucks, i mean this thing was terrible, so I woke up slightly hungover, tired, and wanting waffles Saturday morning, so I loudly wake his ass up and we hit the IHOP before deciding to find a beach. There are three things I wanted out of this trip; a beach, seafood, and strippers. Beer is a given. We follow the not terribly informative signs until we finally end up in some place called High Island that has a beach. And by beach I mean sandy area with lots of rocks, shells, and jellyfish...but it had sand, and the water was nice enough. Had a few beers, managed to break my toe on a rock, and on the way back realize we'd both gotten way too much sun to muster the energy to head to Lake Charles and their casinos (I was jonesing for that damned Top Gun slot machine that's my bane), settling instead for a Hooters (where we were asked if we were gay....not that there's anything wrong with that....) with not one, but two pregnant Hooters girls, and then booting/rallying and watching 'Coming To America' whilst re-hydrating.

And then its back out, for a bar or two and then strip club. Let me just say this, the first place we drove by was a place called Tonga. It was a fabricated metal shed with a simple neon sign saying Tonga. That's it. It's a BYOB strip club, and from asking the townsfolk, its the worst place on earth. This would be a much better entry if I'd been but I must be honest, I said heeeeeelllllll no. So we went to the "upscale" one, the Gold Club. And I will admit, it really wasn't a bad place. Actually looked like a real club, good lucking women, bad '80s cock rock sound track, and while you had to go to a patio to smoke, I fought through it. I was really hoping to write about how terrible the strip clubs were in Beaumont, and had I gone to Tonga I probably could have, but the Gold Club....not so bad. We had a good time-boozed it up, cabbed it home, and had a nice Cracker Barrel breakfast before I started the long drive back to Big D. All in all, Beaumont's really not that bad a town. So that's my story.

But of course, thats not all. I decided to use twitter for this entire trip. As mentioned in this entry, I've been struggling for any actual use for the cultural phenomenon that has become, twitter (my username is /superfuzzbigmuf). And other than NFL news updates and local news updates, I've yet to really find one that the rest of teh intertubes can't give me. So I thought I'd twitter my trip. It probably adds nothing, but was worth a try, so in closing...here is my trip to Beaumont in snippets of 140 words or less. Cheers;

corsicana. turkey jerky and spree. and peed.3:56 PM
Mar 20th from mobile web

lost ticket signal. listening to the rentals.4:00 PM
Mar 20th from mobile web

kind of wish i was hungry so i could see if texas burger is any good.4:26 PM Mar 20th from mobile web

centerville, tx. how could i not stop at a place calling itself jerky
capital of the world?4:37 PM
Mar 20th from mobile web

honestly thought the prison in Huntsville would be larger.5:23 PM Mar 20th from mobile web

wow, black guy riding a horse next to highway outside New Waverly, TX5:33 PM Mar 20th from mobile web

why does Houston need warning signs about potential ice on bridges?6:22 PM Mar 20th from mobile web

wow, the trinity river actually looks like a river down here.7:22 PM Mar 20th from mobile web

theres something cool about listening to patsy cline driving through rural
texas.7:35 PM
Mar 20th from mobile web

in beaumont, first beer of many in hand.8:46 PM
Mar 20th from mobile web

crab meat nachos = awesome9:04 PM
Mar 20th from mobile web

better than ezra! why did i exclamate that?10:15
PM Mar 20th from mobile web

jameson and shiner at a rockabilly dive bar. good times.10:58
PM Mar 20th from mobile web

beaumont, tx: epicenter of cosmopolitan living?12:18
AM Mar 21st from mobile web

my name is ash, and i am a slave.2:26 AM
Mar 21st from mobile web

awake. not regretting army of darkness. want waffles.10:51
AM Mar 21st from mobile web

port of beaumont kind of reminds me of season 2 of the wire.12:44 PM Mar 21st from mobile web

riding dirty in Beaumont jamming to lisa loeb. now *thats* gay.1:09 PM Mar 21st from mobile web

mission accomplished. i have now peed in the gulf of mexico.3:59 PM Mar 21st from mobile web

had a 40z of Bud Ice on beach. Poured last of it to my dead homies. .4:15 PM Mar 21st from mobile web

there are not one, but two, pregnant hooters girls at the Beaumont Hooters.
Stay classy.5:39 PM
Mar 21st from mobile web

beaumont strip club? amazingly not that bad. saw much worse in arlington.12:08 AM Mar 22nd from mobile web

so ya, broke my toe earlier at the beach. i just havent been able to feel
it. nice and swollen now.2:06 AM
Mar 22nd from mobile web

isnt breaking any news here, but 'Stepbrothers' was pretty damn funny.4:02 AM Mar 22nd from mobile web

lol, walker texas lawyer billboard.2:07 PM
Mar 22nd from mobile web

Aaaaaaaaand, fin.

The Woman With 14 Kids

As the news breaks today that the firm representing this woman, Nadya Suleman, the one in the news recently for giving birth to octuplets, is abandoning her as a client on account of the death threats both the client and the firm are recieving, I thought it a good time to write a little bit about this incendiary issue. Truth be told, I'm a little surprised its become incendiary as it has because normally people distance from saying anything remotely bad when it comes to babies. Then again, this story has so many angles it really shouldn't be surprising. In short, the story goes like this:

Single and unemployed mother of six children decides that she wants to have more children. She had used IVF to conceive of children in the past and decides to use it again (still can't figure out how an unemployed single mother of six can afford that, but I digress). In the past they'd implanted six embryos and the result was one child, this time the doctor implants eight embryos. Except this time all eight embryos turn into baby humans, and voila-9mos later this woman is now the proud parent of 14 children, still unemployed, and thus the cost of raising these children will be the responsibility of the State of California in addition to whatever money she can get from private or religious institutions. So this story is basically the perfect storm of controversy. And I thought it might be fun to go down each one of those avenues of controversy.

First and foremost, you have the IVF debate. Once an expensive and rarely used tool to help parents unable to conceive naturally to have children, it has since become fairly commonplace and well accepted by society. The problem though, is that it's fairly un-predictable and doctors continue to push the envelope by using "controversial methods" which increase the success rate, except that they sometimes increase the success rate into twins or, in this case, octuplets. Then you've got the unused embryos which are eventually destroyed (much to the chagrin of the anti-abortion folks). IVF is the poster-boy for how far are we, as a society, comfortable with science going, and with the debate of just because we can do something, does that mean we should? Adding another layer to that debate, in this case, is that this women would never be approved to adopt a child, but it's somehow perfectly acceptable for her to go see a doctor and have more children artificially implanted in her.

Then you've got the people upset because these children are now financially the responsibility of the State of California. The fact that this woman, who already has the state on the hook for six children, can then go out and have more not naturally-but artificially-and as soon as they leave the womb she now gets a bigger check from the state every month to feed, clothe, and house them and the state is also saddled with eight more children is has to educate (albeit poorly, most likely) from ages 6 to 18.

And finally, you've got the practical question of how does a single mother create a nurturing and loving environment in which to actually raise 14 children and give them any chance in hell?

Its a really tricky subject, one that not only stokes the flames of people's opinions on issues that are important to them, but also because is there any reasonable action that can be taken to prevent this in the future?

I've always found it odd that in this country where you need 16 permits to sell alcohol, a permit to drive a car, a permit to work on your house-basically a permit to do practically anything, there is absolutely no restrictions on having a child, or six, or sixteen. Of all the supposed freedoms and "unalienable rights" that American government is supposed to grant us, its odd to me that procreation is the lone one that remains unmolested. I mean it makes sense, no one likes the idea of the government telling what you can do with your body (i mean, except anti-abortion people), or telling you that you can't have children when your creator endowed you with the abiity to do so (except for in the cases that you can't, hence IVF). There would be riots in the streets if the government actually tried to restrict procreation, and as such, despite the sheer impracticality of allowing people to procreate at will, we continue to do so.

And not only do we allow it, the government actually subsidizes it. If you're poor (enough), the government will actually mail you a check, and that check gets bigger for every child you have. And while it's a tired cliche often employed by conservatives that this country is just packed with people exploiting the system and popping out babies to pay for their crack habit (there's no doubt its happening, but not nearly as systemically as the Limbaugh's of the world would like you to believe), the fact of the matter is the potential for doing so is there-and that time and time again the American people will side with the State because, after all, it's not these kids fault that their parent(s) is batshit insane/a piece of shit/an addict and thus its not "fair" to blame the kids for their parent(s) irresponsibility in bringing them into this world despite having no means by which to support themselves, let alone their children.

It's really a thorny issue. No one likes the spectre of the State regulating procreation (a la China), but at the same time it's really hard not to be appalled when something like this happens. No one wants to see these innocent children suffer on account of their parents, but how do you balance that with a system that encourages deadbeats to procreate so they can suck at the government teet? And I'm really not sure there is an answer besides what we do now, but I'll be damned if it isn't a really shitty answer.

The Slow Painful Death Of The Newspaper

It's no secret that the newspaper, atleast the newspaper as we know it, is dying. That much has been quite clear for a few years now, and the point was brought home last April when it was announced that American newspaper circulation fell 3.5% down to it's lowest level since 1946, despite the American population having essentially doubled over that same period-thus selling the same number of newspapers as 1946? Well, that's not a good thing buddy.

The reasons presented for this decline are myriad. Most people blame the internet (and by proxy our Blackberry's and iPhones) for providing instant access to news that is constantly updated and free. And while reading your phone in the restroom or during lunch isn't quite as appealing as a newspaper, it's something we're becoming accustomed too. Other people blame it on the rise of cable news networks and niche sports networks. After all, if you read the paper primarily for news-wouldn't CNN or FNC give you better information? And if you read it for sports, wouldn't the NFL Network, FSN, or even ESPN give you better information? (i hesitated to include ESPN there, as their product is so freaking bad, but I figured I had to). Others blame it on the quality of the newspapers, especially in places (such as Dallas) where there is but one newspaper holding a monopoly. I'm sure the actual reason for the decline is some blending of those, the rise of the blogosphere, and the general dumbing down of the American populace, but the why isn't as important as the simple fact that the newspaper as we know it is a dying industry.

Today we get word of the next step in the dying process, as the Dallas Morning News reports that they will now be sharing content with the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, a trend I'd expect to be picked up by other newspapers across the country where its possible. Beginning Feb 1, the DMN will have the beat for the Dallas Stars and the Dallas Mavericks whereas the FWST will have the beat for the Texas Rangers-and the two papers will share their beat writers and their articles (both papers will maintain separate coverage of the Dallas Cowboys, only because they're what people actually care about in Dallas). They will also share their coverage of college sports and some individual sporting events. The decision was of course made to cut costs for the papers in the face of shrinking revenue.

You might ask, well why is this that big a deal? I mean it's just sports, right? Well first off, most of the "news" in a newspaper isn't produced by the newspaper itself, but instead taken off the AP or another wire. Outside of local news, columnists, and articles of interest-sports is the bulk of the original material a newspaper produces. So to be slashing that, well that's a pretty big deal. I'd also present to you that sports and business are the two biggest reasons the average consumer picks up a newspaper. While that bombing in Gaza or those potholes down the street might interest you, they I believe generally interest you less than your stock portfolio, the general economy, or what your sports team of choice did yesterday. So again, this is a pretty big deal.

In equally grim news on the newspaper front, it's also been announced that the Seattle Post Intelligencer has been put up for sale and will close unless a buyer is found (unlikely). Likewise Colorado's oldest newspaper, The Rockie Mountain News, has also been put up for sale and will likely close as well.

I'm quite the hypocrite on this subject. I love the newspaper and am sad at the prospect of losing them, but then like most people I rarely buy them. Sure if I grab a bagel for breakfast or am having a long lunch I will get one, but generally I too get the bulk of my news online. And of course while doing this, I don't click on any of the ads that would generate revenue for the newspaper (as little as it is), because let's face it-who actually clicks on banner ads? Furthermore, if I am looking for local news I will head over to Unfair Park (where much more honest journalism exists than you'll ever find in the DMN) and while I may read the local sports beat writers, their articles generally reak of knee-jerk reactions and are usually overtly simplistic, with much better sports discussion found elsewhere online. If it's business I'm after, I flip on the TV. The point is, I think I love the nostalgia of the newspaper-the memories of reading it as a child over a bowl of Cheerios or reading the Sunday edition-far more than I actually love the newspaper as it currently exists. I find myself thinking I like it far more than I actually do, and while I will miss the occasional good article my local newspaper gives me that I can't get elsewhere (and they are rare.....), I can't say that I'd miss it enough to actually subscribe or buy more than maybe a paper a week.

Change can be scary by definition, but I just don't see any other way. It's simply an outdated industry, as sad as that sounds.

Happy Repeal Day!

Hey Happy Repeal Day everyone. It was 75 years ago on Dec. 5, 1933 that Prohibition ended and booze was merrily re-introduced to the American public. Strangely enough, it took all of hours to get the booze in...funny that, huh?

Had I been more forward thinking I would have totally had a kick-ass party for the event. Sadly, I am not. That said, have a tall one...or a glass of whisky...and give props to the forefathers that realized alcohol was actually more American than applie pie, and ignoring the ones that disagreed.

On A Bit Of A Personal Note

While the exact date escapes me, somewhere around March or April of this past year (there's this weird couple month period that consisted of me drinking/working/pining over my now ex-girlfriend that makes it tough to pinpoint. Emphasis on the drinking.) I decided it was important for me to make some life changes. My lifestyle in college (or really, my entire time in Denton, TX.) had simply become too unhealthy and detrimental. So I went down the list of vices, and smoking and gambling simply weren't going to be subtracted. Nor was drinking, though moderation was a possibility. Ultimately, I decided that some level of moderation and diet change was what was necessary in my life to undo the oh, 100lbs I had put on since high school. I should own a stake in the Shiner brewery for the amount of Shiner Bock I consumed. Seriously....why isn't Shiner publicly traded? But I digress.

I say all that to say that since then my focus has been on losing weight and trying to improve my quality of life. I moved back to Dallas proper, changed to a package store route, started running/swimming, took up golf, etc.....a lot has changed in my life since I left Denton. But the proudest moment of my life since then occured this past Friday morning when I stepped on the scale and realize I had officially lost 50lbs since then. It's not an end, instead just a milestone. But that doesn't change the fact that 50lbs is a pretty big fucking number, and I'm pretty damn proud of myself. It's been a couple pants sizes (buying new clothes is a PITA), it's been re-wearing old t-shirts I'd long since out grown.

So ya, exploding high-five.

Thanksgiving

It's strange how a holiday can morph over the years. I've always had a relatively small family, what with my mother's side living exclusively in Seattle or France and my father being an only child, as a kid it usually consisted of my parents, my brother, "Uncle" Bill (right side in photo), my Grandmother, Great Aunt, and dog Gizmo. Well my grandmother died of Alzheimers related causes back in the late '90s, Gizmo died on Halloween '05, and Aunt Chudy died this past July. And then of course my mother moved to Paris back in the early '00s. I don't say this to elicit pity, believe me it's the farthest thing from that, but instead as a way to compare Thanksgiving as a child as compared to now where its my dad, my brother, Bill, and my brother's new dog George.

The one constant though is, and hopefully always will be, Dallas Cowboys football (read my review at Cockfighting In Texas) and turkey. There's just something about a nice dinner of turkey (Greenberg smoked this year, and it was orgasmic), mashed potatoes, and having a Cowboys rout of Seattle (I gracefully waited until halftime to call and gloat to my Seattle relatives) that makes this one hell of a day. There are people that claim to hate Thanksgiving, and I just don't get them-despite everything changing, it's always one hell of a holiday.

Oh, right, forgot to go down the wines we had with dinner and after-you know since booze is a core tenet of this blog. Magenta NV Brut Champagne (which I of course loved, I love me some French bubbly), Chateau le Gay Gran Cru Bordeaux (was my request, was really craving a nice Bordeaux. And you can't beat a cork that says 'Le Gay.'), Panther Creek Pinot Noir (Shea vineyard AVA, was fantastic with dinner), and Kenneth Crawford Bluefin Vineyard Syrah (my least favorite, but I'm just not a Syrah fan). The Chateau Le Gay was my favorite, but I was really craving a nice Bordeaux-otherwise the two bottles of Panther Creek Pinot Noir were excellent, we had two different vineyard varietals, and both exceptional with the Shea being the more earthy of the two. I won't bother to mention the Magenta Champagne, because anyone that knows me knows I love most anything bubbly.

All that said, I hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving, gorging themselves sufficiently on wine and food. Cheers!

Beware XM Radio

When I bought my VW Passat, it came with a radio with a built in satellite radio reciever and a three month free trial subscription. I didn't think much of it at the time, but back then satellite radio was generating a fair amount of buzz-and I figured I could use something to listen to during commercials on The Ticket or when NPR was boring (whenever Ira Glass is on), so I called XM to give it a try.

And I really enjoyed it. The station Lucy offered a nice mix of '90s rock music, most early '90s-very little Nickelback and crap like that, Ethel offered a nice mix of modern rock tinged with new stuff (it's where I first heard Arctic Monkeys, The Shins, Silversun Pickups, and more), XMU offered a way to listen to college radio-something we've never really had here in Dallas, Squizz offered some decent metal when that was my mood, and Fungus the same thing with punk music. Fox Sports Radio was also a nice bonus, as during the holiday season I was working on Saturday and Sundays I could get sports updates. In short, for some $60 a year it was a nice buy. So I signed up for a one year subscription. Enjoyed it enough, but let it lapse. A few months later decided I wanted it back, so I signed up for another one year sub......that was 15 months ago.

So about 3 months ago the subscription lapsed. Around that same time they decided to "temporarily" take Fungus 53-their lone punk station-off the air and replace it with an all AC fucking DC station. Seriously, AC/DC. I'm sure trailer parks across America were high-fiving each other, but unless I'm at a strip club I've got absolutely zero interest in AC/DC (same goes for Buckcherry, in case you were curious). So I let my subscription lapse, knowing that if I ever wanted to renew it I could. And that's when it started.

For the last two months, I've literally recieved a call a day from XM. But not just a call, an automated call. "Dear , your XM subscription has lapsed, please call us (the gall of me asking them to call them!) please call us back at with account number . And of course, I ignored them. Fuck automated calls, if a company wants my business they can call me and talk to me at my convenience....I'm not taking time out of my day to call them and sit on hold. I'm the customer, and my money is not their god-given right.

After a month, I finally gave in and called them....I was polite but blunt, please stop calling me. CSR was very polite, took my info, and told me the calls would stop. They of course didn't. Less frequent, but they kept coming. So tonight, after the 70th some odd automated call and voicemail, I called them. Again, asked them to stop calling me and to my surprise, now they want $23 to stop calling me. Whaaaaaaaat?

I argue with the CSR for a bit-and she was quite rude I might add-before realizing she has no power, and asking for her supervisor. He gives me the same lines. I had to again, call them, to cancel my subscription. Nevermind that I expressly signed up for a one year subscription, no no, if I don't call them I have to pay them for the two months of service they "gave me" because they didn't turn off my service after that one year. You know, because if you walk into Kroger and buy a months worth of chicken, if you come back two months later you owe them for the month of chicken you didn't buy. Logical, right?

Again, I want to stress, this wasn't a repeating bill. I paid up front and in full for 1 year service. Period. I asked explicitly and was told, it is not repeating and if I wanted to re-new I would only then have to call them, as had happened the previous time I let a subscription lapse.

So why do I write all this? To let you, and hopefully everyone you know, that the folks at XM are crooks and to steer clear of them. If this is how a company treats a subscriber of almost two years, then that should tell you all that you need to know about the company. Fuck XM, I will pay them their $23, but I will make damn sure that everyone I know will listen, and that they lose more than $23 in subscriptions and bad press. The internet empowers consumers, and shit companies like XM need to be aware of that.

If memory serves, the first time I went to the Oak Lawn Street Party (henceforth known as Street Party and occasionally known as the Gay Parade) was 1996, when I was 15. May have been a year later, but I know I was dating Alex and I was a young lad. I went in drag, though not sure why, and when I was cleaning out my childhood room just a few months ago I found the costume. Twelve years later I've probably been to a half dozen more of them, and every year it's a good time. I understand that people have issues (though I don't know why) with going to the "gay part of town" as though Oz style anal rape is a serious concern, but I learned long ago not to fight people on it and just accept it. People have their pre-conceived notions, and I'm not going to fight that.

That said, this year like most others, was a blast. Sure, there was the normal quotient of drag queens and men in little but a loin cloth and body glitter, but I've always been a firm believer in that we can all get along and when everyone is just having a good time the result is one hell of a party. Short of St. Patricks on Greenville Ave, this is probably the biggest street party of the year in Dallas. Great costumes, thousands of people, some bands, a fair amount of boozing....it's just fun. And for 8 of us, the cab fare from Lower Greenville was only $26, surprisingly low. I've got some photos which will eventually get uploaded to my myspace page, and some great memories.

Not to mention, I finally got a costume out of the headcrab hat. And many questions about what the fuck i was, along with many kudos from those who actually, you know, got it.

The Delta Lodge

Mark Twain once said, "reports of my demise are greatly exaggerated." I'm not going to necessarily apply the line to the fate of the Delta Lodge, but after a year or more of hearing from folks that the Lodge was dead, I won't deny that it came to mind today during the organization's National Convention. But more on that in a bit.

Most people know that I spent my first semester of college at SMU in Dallas on account of having aspirations of a career as an attorney (I've since discvored that while I do enjoy the law, law school just wasn't for me). And while I did enjoy my time there, and really I did, about midway through that semester I realized that it just wasn't for me, and that the outrageous tuition was just that. Upon this realization, I made the decision to transfer to the University of North Texas in Denton, TX. and my fate was sealed. And while I enjoyed UNT more than SMU, and the cost was much less, after about a year there I had a fairly limited circle of friends, a failing relationship, and I felt the need to broaden my horizons, to improve my collegiate experience.

I'd considered the fraternities at SMU, and decided they just weren't for me. When I got to Denton I'd heard a great deal about the Delta Lodge, infamous for Fry St. Fair, their toga parties, and their persona as the twin brother of Delta Tau Chi of Animal House fame (which is fictional, for the record). I'd rushed the fraternity a couple of times, but backed out of pledging-the idea of joining a fraternity just didn't seem like a good one. In the fall of 2002 however, at the age of 20, I decided to take the plunge and go for it. I still remember vivdly the day I decided to do it, it was a brother's barbecue (note to those not familiar, Delta is a co-ed fraternity. and yes, that's weird) at the still infamous Fry House, but this was back when the abandoned (and haunted) hospital was across the street instead of the current overpriced apartments (also haunted). I also remember the way the people I know looked at my like I was on fire when I told them I was not only joining a fraternity, but joining the Delta Lodge. But I was stagnating, and it was something I had to do for myself, and so I did it-and after a series of strange events I won't bother recounting because if you lived in Denton in 2002 you probably remember, I became a member. But you see, that's not all I remember.

For while that place brought me a more than moderate amount of weight that could be attributed to excessive beer consumption, or my succubus of an ex-girlfriend, or a broken foot and road rash on account of getting hit by and thrown off of an automobile whilst wearing a bedsheet, at the same time it brought me so much more, and I was reminded of this as I sat there today. Of the confidence in myself I gained, of the maturation in me as a person, of the mastery of beer-die, of the first woman I ever really loved, of the lifetime's worth of great (albeit debaucherous) memories, and most importantly all of the good people and great friends I met. Like most any organization it had it's dead weight, but a few years removed from college I look back at the people I met, many still very good friends today, and I think little but fond thoughts. And even more impressive has been watching us all grow together, from terribly immature and melodramatic college students (you can't fathom the drama, believe me) into strangely drama-free and rational adults. It really does bring a smile to my face, and it also brings me back to where I started.

Considered dead in December of 2007 when the lone chapter was suspended and a buyer was sought for the monstrosity of a house at 1305 West Oak St. in Denton, TX, now a Campus Christian Center, it appears as thought the organization will survive. It seems quite clear that it won't be as a collegiate fraternity (not that the Lodge ever bore more than surface resemblance to a classic Greek fraternity anyway), but instead as a social organization in the vein of the IOOF or Water-Buffaloes. How that organization will be built and how it will function is a subject of debate at this point, but there are many of us to whom it is very dear collaborating on that, and in the end I wrote all that to say this;

If you're a member, and many of my readers are, do yourself a favor and get involved with this. It can be as simple as just registering at the new website or as in depth as getting your proverbial hands dirty and helping to craft a new organization out of the ashes of the old one. Much like with politics, if you don't get involved you forfeit your right to bitch. And to the outsiders whom have in the last year mocked the demise of the Lodge, let me just say that "reports of my demise are greatly exaggerated." Or atleast they might be.

Is there a better feeling in the world.....

....than getting to call the cable company and tell them you want to discontinue service.

Ok, maybe sex. Or free money. Or a good football game. Heroin's apparently pretty good too. Ok, there are a lot of better feelings.

Point is, it's such a liberating feeling to call the cable company and tell them to take a hike. Oh why did I want to disconnect my service, the "retention specialist" asks? Because you don't have NFL network. And your picture quality sucks. At which point he of course tells me that the NFL is greedy and they're trying to negotiate something and hey, I still get the other football games. At which point I of course respond that that's fantastic, but it's not the NFL network.....and you didn't even address the terrible picture quality. Oh, is there anything you can do to retain my service, you ask? I said sure, free HBO and Showtime. And then he grudgingly admits defeat.

Victory is mine. Soon the cable will be gone, replaced with sunny happy AT&T U-verse and it's more channels, faster internet, better picture quality, and a free DVR that will record four shows at once. Oh, and the NFL network. And just in time for Winter.

Regarding Meridian Room and CD World

This morning as I was having breakfast I was alerted to the fact that a couple of Dallas institutions were closing. And when I say institutions, I mean great establishments that were quite dear to me and I am quite sad to see them go. Per this entry at Unfair Park though, and it is indeed true, both the Meridian Room and CD World both closed yesterday.

People have often been known to argue about it, especially with Bill's and Good Records, competing in a city notorious for not just lacking support for local musicians, but of being often culturally void and fickle, but I've always felt CD World to be the best record store in this town. As a teenager I treasured my visits there, often unloading what at the time seemed to be an absurd sum of money on Mudhoney CDs, Nirvana t-shirts, and assorted vinyl, stickers, and buttons. It was conveniently located in East Dallas (as opposed to Good Records which didn't exist until I was a senior in High School, and Bill's which was in Richardson then), had bargain prices with $8 CDs, and an assortment of general crap which any music fan would love. And unlike Bill's, it was actually organized. And as I got older, the store just kept getting better as I did enjoy perusing the bargain bin of $3 CDs and for every Mariah Carey or Guns 'n Roses CD you'd come across a gem like a hard to find Seaweed or Stanford Prison Experiment record.

And while I may be responsible in some small part for it's demise, what with my complete and total embrace of on-line music piracy (with the exception of local bands), it doesn't mean I'm sad to see it go. In the height of my hypocrisy, there really is still something magical about the record store experience, and I really will miss CD World. As a parting gift though, I did get my ticket for Mudhoney there a few weeks back.

So as though that weren't enough of a bummer day, as the stars aligned also closing yesterday was the Meridian Room. Besides having a killer Guinness Steak Sandwich and half-price food on wednesdays, Meridian Room also provided me so, so many memories. For while I live walking distance from both Lower Greenville and Lakewood, I've always loved Expo Park. It's like Deep Ellum except without the douchebags, trendy bars, and cops. I have fond memories from high school of spending afternoons in what is now Amsterdam Bar (it was then New Amsterdam Coffee Haus) drinking coffee, reading, playing chess, watching 'Walker, Texas Ranger' filmed on the street in front, and buying cigarettes. But this isn't about Expo at large, or Amsterdam, it's about Meridian Room.

The Meridian Room, well, it was a one of a kind place. With Expo Park being right on the cusp of South Dallas, it was the farthest tip of civilization, and yet it was a great European style bar serving fantastic food and great beer (even if Blake is still bitter they got rid of Boddingtons on draft). Flanked by a dive bar (Bar of Soap, also now closed), a '50s style barber shop (Rob's Chop Shop), and what used to be a very strange antique store before becoming the short-lived Sloppyworld-Meridian Room joined Amsterdam Bar in bringing just a touch of drunken class to a chaotic and yet fantastic neighborhood. Whole inside you had so much fun you forgot about being propositioned by 6-month pregnant Mexican hookers as you entered the bar, or the crackheads that would wander over from South Dallas.

Beyond my normal patronage, every year I would meet my out of town friends there for drinks right around Christmas time, including the weirdest reunion ever last year of Elementary School people, which turned out to be a blast. And despite living in Denton, I spent a great many nights there with my now ex-girlfriend, with T-bone, with Trish, with Jordan, and with all manner of people. Maston made the strangest marriage proposal ever there, followed by Stacy's now ex-husband finding some great tacos. And while I do enjoy the Libertine, and it helps that it's 3 blocks from my house, I will always have a place in my heart and a little sadness regarding the closing of the Meridian Room.

So as the Meridian webpage says, Civilization Began With Distillation, and Cheers!

When God Closes A Door.....

It started as a simple proposition. Monique had asked if T-bone and I wanted to join her and some other people friday evening at the Lakewood Landing to watch the Presidential debate over a hamburger and some cheap beer. Sounds like a pleasant evening, no? I mean combining alcohol with your civic duty is a win-win situation, leading me to wonder how much higher voter participation would be if you got a voucher for a free 6-pack every time you voted, but I digress.

So friday night arrives, I call up some other people, and we decided to make an evening out of it. Start there, watch the debate, and see where the night takes us. There's just one problem....the Landing? Well, they said no dice to watching the debate there. Seems someone forgot to, you know, ask the bar first. So there we are, all planning to meet up but with nowhere to go. At which point, we begin going down the list of alternate bars.

Amsterdam Bar? They usually show it, but they don't want the, ahem, less than enlightened folks attending the State Fair to stop in and create a less than pleasant situation. Besides, the State Fair is a block away and who wants to fight through that traffic? Which also rules out the Meridian Room. Having spent the weekend before (and too much money) at Cosmos, we rule it out and call The Tipp. No dice, they're not showing it. Likewise for the Libertine, and we even called a hail mary and called the Cock & Bull. You getting the theme here? What seemed like a simple task has become nearly impossible....we can't find a bar that will show the debate. Eventually we end up just going to the Dubliner and they graciously allow us to watch it. And serve a really lousy french dip sandwich.

And for my liver's sake the evening probably should have ended there. But it didn't, Nick and Austin talked me into going to the Old Monk which it turns out was having it's Oktoberfest. Which means high alcohol beer served in gigantic 1L glass mugs (which would make as good a weapon as a drinking receptacle, these things weighed like 10lbs). Funny thing about drinking beer in 1L servings, you don't realize how much you're drinking. And while I had a great time (somehow running into a co-worker and three people I hadn't seen in years), it completely ruined my weekend as I spent the entirety of Saturday lamenting my age and inability to drink like I once did.

That's Crazy Man, You Can't Control What The Blog Do

A week or so ago, the following video surfaced on teh intertubes;



It's of Dallas Maverick's forward Josh Howard "disrespecting" the singing of the National Anthem by saying he's black and he "doesn't do that shit" before claiming the merits of Obama.

And while of course the video riled up so many peoples sensibilities, personally I couldn't give two shits what Josh Howard thinks about the the National Anthem or politics, just as I don't care that he smokes pot in the off-season. My concern with Josh Howard starts and stops with his performance on the basketball court. But of course, I'm in the minority, and a great many people are "outraged" at his disrespect for America (is there a point where blatant nationalism is going to run it's course?), of which many seem to be active military, military veterans, and racists. Also not surprising-everyone's got an agenda. I'm betting a bunch of San Antonio Spurs fans are all over it too.

What is interesting though, is how many of them wrote e-mails to Mark Cuban, the owner of the Dallas Mavericks. And what's even more fascinating, is that Cuban decided to publish many of them-names and e-mail address included-on his blog, Blog Maverick. The following are just a few excerpts, you can read all of them at the above link to Cuban's blog.

Author : Barack Obama (IP: 64.12.117.196 ,
cache-mtc-ah04.proxy.aol.com)
E-mail : Nigga4life@coon.com
URL : http://Watermellon
Whois
: http://ws.arin.net/cgi-bin/whois.pl?queryinput=64.12.117.196
Comment:JOSH
HOWARD IS NOTHING BUT A DUMB COON NIGGER. SOMEONE NEEDS TO
TEACH HIS MONKEY
ASS SOME DAM RESPECT FOR THE NATIONAL ANTHEM

Classy stuff, eh? And while that guy was smart enough (despite being an obvious idiot) to use a fake name and e-mail address, a lot of people were not so smart. We start with the very compelling and well thought-out "if you hate America then leave" argument from this guy;

From: “Billy Leto”
To:
mark.cuban@dallasmavs.com
Date: 09/18/2008 09:20 AM
Subject: are you
kidding me?
MC,
Tell Howard that him and Hussein Obama can go to another
country and live if they don’t want to support our symbol of freedom.–

I don't think there's any question which way that guy is going to be voting in November. And man, with that sort of impeccable argument I just don't see how Josh Howard can do anything but move to China. Speaking of which;

From: George Bannon
To:
markcuban@dallasmavs.com
Date: 09/18/2008 08:25 PM
Subject: MARK &
TEAM NEED TO MOVE TEAM AND YOU TO MOSCOW RUSSIA OR CUBA OR CHINA ETC.ETC.

1ST STRIKE - YOU HAD THE ANTI-AMERICAN CANADIAN PIG VOMIT ON YOUR
TEAM

2ND STRIKE - YOU FUNDED ANTI-AMERICAN/TROOPS MOVIE

3RD STRIKE - “I DONT DO THIS SHIT’ DURING MY NATIONAL ANTHEM
- THIS NATION MADE YOU PIG VOMITS RICH BEYOND MY DREAMS AND THIS IS HOW
YOU REPAY US. THREE STRIKES YOUR OUT! TELL PIG VOMIT HE IS FREE TO MOVE OUT OF
MY COUNTRY ANYTIME HE WANTS. TRY CHINA,THEY HAVE FREE SPEACH -
NOT!

Apparently he's so angry he couldn't be bothered to turn off the capslock. You know, or make any sort of rational argument or point....or anything that's remotely even readable.

And while the bulk of them were just eye-rolling diatribes about how he disrespected American and they won't watch basketball anymore or go to Mavs games or blah, blah, blah, sadly a great many of them were of course, racial in nature.

From: “stephen rogers”
To:
Date: 09/17/2008 09:34 PM
Subject: Ask
Mark Cuban
Mr. Cuban,

Just saw your nigger Josh Howard disresepct the national anthem
because he is black. According to the news you say he is a really great guy. Of
course he is because he makes you lots of money you greedy bastard.

You would rather sell out your own country that my dead father fought
for in WW II than than lose a buck by firing this black bastard.

You are nothing more than a nigger slave owner milking him for all his
black ass can get you.
YOU, SIR IS WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY. YOU AND
THAT NIGGER YOU CALL NICE.

There’s lots of black dick on that team, get busy. White power is
coming back because of race traitors like you.

Know what you get when you cross a nigger and a white nigger lover ?
a WHIGGER. THAT IS YOU !!!!

Mark WHIGGER Cuban.

A White storm is brewing Mr. Cuban, you and those niggers like you better
evacuate.


heffernan2@aol.com to
mark.cuban
show details 9:29 AM (14 hours ago)

“I don’t even celebrate that shit. I’m black.”

You & Howard…two peas in a pod.Don’t think we’ve forgotten about
that Brian De Palma anti-military propaganda film, “Redacted”, that you
produced, CubanYa might tell Howard the next time you talk to him, that if
not for America, he’d probably be throwing spears in Africa
someplace instead of free-throws.

Semper Fi,
M.E. Heffernan

That's just a nice sample of the great display of American idiocy being put on display for all the world to see at Blog Maverick. If you've got a few minutes read through it, seriously-it will blow your mind. I mean we all knew that these people existed, but to see them put on display without internet anonymity is a great thing.

Two Phrases That Destroyed American Culture

With all due apologies, I'm going to be a little busy over the next couple days and unable to waste your time in a satisfactory manner. In fact, I'm unable to bring you anything original even tonite, but I wanted to leave you, dear reader, with atleast something to chew on as you enter the weekend. So I leave you this, shamelessly stolen from Violent Acres but since it's two years old and I gave them credit, well, I don't feel all that guilty. So check her blog out to further assuage my guilt, please;



Every time I promise myself that I will work on controlling my temper, I always end up making a scene.

This time, it wasn’t my fault. All I wanted was a bagel. A bagel, a cup of coffee, and perhaps a spot near a window where I could idly watch the traffic go by as I browsed through the newspaper and licked cream cheese from my fingers. But apparently the Gods were not on my side.

Today I got in line behind a middle aged woman in a fur coat who was barking orders at the poor bagel girl like she was a dumb misbehaving dog. Fur Coat was ordering multiple bagel sandwiches from a list, but instead of ordering them in such a way that would make sense, she was attempting to order them all at the same time. The Bagel Girl was obviously confused and you could tell by her shaking hands that Fur Coat’s harsh tone was intimidating her. Finally, Fur Coat snapped, “I said light butter on that bagel! Light butter! Jesus!”

I couldn’t stand it anymore. I cut in, “You don’t have to be such a bitch about it.”
Fur Coat glared daggers at me and stated, “I’m not.”

“Well, I beg to differ.”

With a disgusted ‘Hrmph,’ Fur Coat went back to her overly complicated order, but she did so quietly and even managed to begrudge the poor girl a ‘Thank you’ after she was finished.
I have a theory about asshole customers: I think they only act that way because no one ever calls them on their bullshit. The poor kids behind the counter can’t stand up for themselves lest they lose their jobs and other patrons look the other way claiming ‘it’s none of my business.’
Fuck that. When I see some self important asshole verbally degrading a teenaged kid with dead eyes behind a counter, it ruins my day. So, I say some shit. Besides, I feel that if I stay silent, I am almost giving an abuser permission to act like a raging asshole. Ignoring their behavior suggests to them on some sick level that what they’re doing is Ok.

It’s not OK.

The phrase ‘The Customer is Always Right’ is the single worst philosophy that has ever been adopted by American culture. It gave an entire generation of people the green light to be as impolite, unreasonable, and demanding as their little hearts desired because they were always going to be considered right. It destroyed the entire concept of courtesy and rendered manners obsolete. People began to treat their peers in the service industry like incompetent morons, lacking in feelings or human dignity, who deserved to be browbeaten and abused for no other reason than they had the audacity to run out of a particular brand of coffee.


Furthermore, instead of suffering negative repercussions for their appallingly disrespectful behavior, they are awarded with free coupons and plenty of ass kissing. In reality, they should be shunned and humiliated for behaving like such self absorbed little children.

Speaking of respect, another idea that has ruined American culture is the one that states, ‘I don’t give respect freely. You have to earn my respect.’ This one is most often uttered by punk kids with bad attitudes and black fingernail polish.

Fucking gag me.

I mean, how egotistical does one have to be to automatically assume that their respect is so fucking important that one must jump through multiples hoops in order to earn it? How about we give people respect because they are humans with lives and feelings just as important as our own? Why not give people a default level of respect and more or less can either be won or lost based on the behavior of the individual? The loss of respect is something that should be based on actions. The idea that that one must win basic respect in the first place is incredibly belittling. How narcissistic can you be to embrace that ideology?

A few Sundays ago, my husband and I went out to breakfast. If anyone has ever attempted to go out to breakfast on a Sunday morning, they know that restaurants are usually packed around then. We were finally seated and our server was not only very busy, but also a new employee according to her ‘Hi! I’m new!’ nametag.

I’d like to say that everyone in her section was very understanding. The place was a madhouse and she was obviously out of her element. I wish I could say that the patrons in that restaurant were mannerly and polite and treated her with even an ounce of dignity and consideration. But, if I did, I’d be fucking lying.

Nearly everyone yelled at her or condescended to her like she was a stupid little child. One guy ordered a side of ‘home fries’ and reamed her ass when she brought him French fries. Had he looked at the menu a little closer, he would have seen that ‘home fries’ weren’t listed. This particular restaurant only served French fries or hash browns. Her mistake was understandable and he was basically yelling at her because she didn’t read his mind accurately enough.

But let’s all forget about that for just a moment. Instead, I want to point out that there are a multitude of things that can go wrong in one’s life. Death, illness, and poverty just to name a few. Yet, here I was watching a grown man lose his fucking shit because he was going to have to wait 5 minutes for a side of hash browns. Suddenly, I lost my appetite.

At this point, the angry little man demanded to speak to a manager and a kowtowing corporate whore scuttled over with free coupons and many apologies. The angry man furiously demanded that his waitress be fired right that instant. Over hash browns.
I couldn’t take it anymore. I leaned over and interrupted, “When you’re finished talking to this man, I’d like to speak to you. I have the same server.”

The angry man smiled smugly, no doubt convinced that I was going to back him up on his quest to get a new girl fired because he had to wait 5 fucking minutes.

The manager finished with him and moped over to my table ready for his second tongue lashing of the day. I surprised him by loudly saying, “I just want you to know that our server is doing the best that she can. She’s been trying very hard and has been very sweet to us even though that asshole has treated her so poorly.”

The manager suddenly looked panicked and started shooting terrified looks at the table that just finished reaming him out. “I know,” he whispered fearfully, “Don’t worry, I’m not going to fire her.”

And while I was pleased to learn that this particular manager wasn’t going to fire the new girl based on the whim of some fat ass piece of trailer trash, I was disappointed that he rewarded said trash’s temper tantrum with free food. I long for the day a manager walks up to a table and says, “How dare you treat my employee this way. Get out now.”

I’m sure they want to, but that ridiculous policy ‘The Customer is Always Right’ silences them. So until we banish that phrase from American culture forever, I suggest we quit looking the other way when people behave like scumbags.

After all, technicalities may suggest that they are always right, but that doesn’t make them any less an asshole.